MY STORY

When I was 25 years old, I was set up on a blind date. I lived in Baltimore, MD at the time and my date lived in Manhattan Beach Ca. We visited each other every other weekend by using our United Airline Miles. I had previously ended a long relationship of five years and was on the rebound. My fairytale story was coming true. I met this tall, dark and handsome man who just swept me off my feet; my heart would throb being in his presence and in six months I was engaged and was married within the year. At the age of 27 I started having a family, one blessing after another. I had four children in five years. I was madly in love, yet I knew I wasn’t being treated well. After 20 years, I finally had the courage to ask for a separation as a result of the lack of co-parenting, his alcoholism, gambling, betting, financial fiascos, chaos and disrespect towards me. My husband traveled the majority of the time: six weeks gone, home one weekend, and six weeks away again. I believed if we separated then it would force him to come home and at least be a father for 50 percent of the time.

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Back in 2012, after 14 years of trying to save our marriage, we failed. I filed in May 2012 and we were divorced in 2015. I stayed in the marriage too long. I raised our four children primarily alone for almost 17 years. Eventually, the chaos, alcoholism, lack of co-parenting as a united couple, and the extreme differences in our values and upbringings were affecting our children.

 

The lies, deceit, financial misdealing’s, undermining, manipulation and control were over the top. I finally mustered up the courage to escape, wanting our schedules to still stay the same as best we could for our young children. He warned me that he would be difficult, impossible to deal with, that he held all the cards financially and that my name would never cross his lips again. Once I filed in the courts, then I became the target of his rage and anger as he used our children as weapons in the full-force “hate Campaign”. All of a sudden, I became a bad parent, a danger to our children, a party animal, a whore, a drug attic and a mentally ill person. (I never had a police record of drug or alcohol abuse, no mental illness, no PFAs and absolutely no domestic violence before, during or after the separation).The false allegations, the defamation of my name and reputation, casting stones, judgement, the Stockholm Syndrome, Divide and Conquer routine, the financial ruins, the Alienation against my children, family, friends and neighbors became overwhelming. I was all alone, isolated with my thoughts and this horrific ordeal. I had no help, no credibility, no agency could work with me due to the extreme level of Domestic Violence and people were too scared to get involved.

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I am still to this day dealing with the excruciating pain of Parental Alienation, court corruption, and constant harassment from authorities, the fear of incarceration, all because the man I chose to marry wants to destroy me as punishment for leaving him and wanting a healthier and happier life for myself. The threats, ultimatums, and power are frightening and it forces the targeted parent into FEAR. This is emotional and psychological abuse; Domestic Violence in its strongest realm.

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There was no help for the targeted parent and my choice at this low point was to end my life or take on the false allegations with the TRUTH. I almost chose the path of death, and unfortunately that is the case for many targeted parents, but I realized I did not want my children to grow up believing their mother had mental health issues in addition to all the false allegations made by my ex and use that as an excuse for any mishaps in their lives. That was exactly what the alienating and abusive parent wanted. So, instead I chose life and created a non-profit 501 c3, called LOVE DOMINATES to help others in the same situation, exposing the behaviors of the abusing ex-spouse who may be an undiagnosed NPD: narcissist, psychopath or sociopath.
 

Out of darkness though, comes light. I am sharing the details of my story so that you will understand the background that led to my life-changing opportunities and hope for the future. As spiritual beings we often have to hit very low points before we can rise above to self-actualization. I created LOVE DOMINATES not only as a way to get the TRUTH to my alienated children, but to provide confirmation and support to many other mothers and fathers who have had to endure this horrific change in their life circumstances.