© 2019 by Love Dominates

Christmas Anxiety

21.12.2017

Ok...Christmas is nearly here and I feel the familiar knot of anxiety in my stomach...I miss my kids so much...I have missed all their big events in life... graduations...I went but was not allowed near them, my ex and his enabling family saw to that...I missed 18th and 21st birthdays...wasn’t invited...awards ceremonies...the list goes on. Once I had served my purpose to the narcissist and my kids were raised, my ex threw divorce papers at me after 28yrs of marriage and it was shortly after I had lost my mother...and then discarded me...not satisfied he brainwashed his own flesh and blood against me...I honestly don’t know how I am still here...I sometimes think the level of his abuse was meant to destroy me too the point I would not want to live anymore...believe me...sometimes I didn’t ...and besides my ex would say “see she was unstable...it’s not your fault”...I honestly think one day they may realize what they have done and maybe feel some remorse...at least I hope so...my biggest fear is that they become narcissistic like my ex and members of his messed up family...they have been alienated from my family... who although they lived in Uk we visited almost every year and they had a strong relationship with...I have lost so much... but so have my kids...I will be sad and lonely Christmas Day ...but as a mother my biggest sadness is not being able to protect them from this terrible abuse...it is truly a very sick thing to do...no child should have to choose to have only one of their parents in their life...‘‘tis the season” but it’s never the season for the alienator... they are only out to destroy and win at no matter what the cost...even the welfare of their own children...😞\

 

 

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