© 2019 by Love Dominates

Another Christmas...

29.12.2017

Ok...Christmas came and went...again I got presents for my 2 adult children...it was bitter sweet this year as it was my 4th Christmas away from them and when I went Christmas shopping the horror of it all set in...my daughter was easy... I have seen her and I know her style and her tastes in clothes and what size by seeing her ...my son I haven’t seen in 4 yrs...he is 6ft 4 inches and I don’t know what size of anything he wears...he was a 17 yr old when I last saw him...he is now a 21yr old young man...I struggled buying gifts for him...but I got him socks...pj’s tee shirts...just hope they fit...I wrapped the presents mustered up the courage to go to the house...on the walk down the path I saw the windows were open so they were home...I could feel my heart pounding...I always feel hope... I try to prepare for the rejection because you think, I have done this before so you think it will get easier...well it doesn’t...I ring the bell...I wait...the ex appears behind the patterned glass window of the door...I tell him through the door that he will not be open..”I have presents” he says “I will give them to the kids” I say “can’t I give them their presents” he tells he will ask them...the total disrespect is unbearable...I wait...he comes back he says”they don’t want to come to the door” really...I bite my tongue hold on to my dignity what’s left of it...I ask him to bring in the gifts and give them to my kids...he says “yeah! See ya”...wow...happy Christmas to me...yes I cried... not until I reached the safety of my car...I had argued with myself for weeks before Christmas should I put myself through this horrible blatant rejection again...but yes I need to let them know I will not give up on them...hope they liked their gifts of course I will not know that...the only confirmation I have is when I go to catch a glimpse of my daughter at an event and she is wearing the dress or shoes ect...but she has told me not to come to anymore ever again...she said her dad says me coming affects her business...I wonder sadly if they will ever get their own voice...I hope they do...one day...and they can get away and escape the narc and his enabling families grasp...until then I wait...that’s all I can do 💔

 

 

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